The baby wipe warmer. An essential?? Really??
(photo from Dex)
Yesterday I had the pleasure of representing Momaha at a baby fair. It was geared to first time moms and filled with products, services and such that a mother might need. There was some valuable stuff there that I won’t trash talk – things about natural child birth (not my thing, I wanted to anesthesiologist to meet me at the door with the needle and a shot of vodka with my births) but I recognize its value, and other things like child care centers, pediatricians and such. Important stuff. However, I had to laugh at products that were calling themselves “essential.”
So first time moms, let me break it down for you. Here’s a little list of crap you don’t need.
1. Baby wipe warmer. Listen baby, it’s a cold world out there. We can’t have you thinking someone is going to warm your butt every time it needs to be wiped. Get used to the feeling of cold hitting it – it will happen often.You might even like it later in life. Who knows, you can be a freak like that.
2. A video monitor. You don’t want to see what those crazy babies do in the middle of the night. You’ll never sleep. They squirm, roll, twitch, slap and other things that would keep you up more than you already are. My advice – get a regular monitor and switch it to off when they are crying bloody murder. Trust me – you’ll hear them.
3. Pacifier wipes. If it is your first baby, you will try desperately to keep the paci clean at all times. You’ll run to the sink to clean it more times than you can count. Then, by your second baby, you’ll probably put it in your own mouth to clean it. By your third kid, you usually just blow on it and hope it gets all the crud off. If it doesn’t, it’s ok, it’s fiber.
4. Baby oil. I still have no idea what this is for. You have baby shampoo, then baby lotion. What’s the oil for? Are they tanning outside with one of those big aluminum foil boards under their chin?
5. Shopping cart covers. You seriously don’t want another thing to have to hold. You’ve got the baby, the diaper bag, your purse, and then you want to add a puffy shopping cart cover. For what? To protect them from germs? Did you know they just dropped the paci about 10 times on the floor without you knowing and stuck it back in their mouth? I wouldn’t worry about shopping cart germs at that point.
I seriously can go on all day. Got any to add? Let’s get a big ole’ list going on in here!
30 Comments
I’m going to have to admit — we really like our video monitor. Of course, we can’t even go in and look at him or put a blanket on him without him waking up. He’s a ninja. So, we just use the video to make sure his legs aren’t stuck!
But I wholeheartedly agree with the rest…
I’m curious about your son’s acrobatic abilities…what ever does he do with those legs in the crib? Perhaps he has a future in Cirque de Soliel?
Thia cracked me up! A major nonessential: The Diaper Genie. Seriously. It’s called, “take out your trash every day.” I hate this product with my first, and refused it for my second. They are way gross!
The Diaper Genie is the world’s best marketing product. It sucks but yet people still fall for it and buy it. Genius.
I have to disagree with you on the shopping cart cover and the wipey warmer. My 1st was born in the fall, and I was nursing all through the winter. He would scream and completely wake up after falling asleep nursing when I wiped him with freezing wipes. After the warmer, I could change him and pop him back into bed. I’m standing by that one. (We didn’t have to use it for our summer baby.)
A friend of a friend’s dad got a terrible bacterial infection that almost killed him from a shopping cart at Walmart… I’m not taking chances. I would skip my purse and diaper bag for the cart cover! Plus, when they are really little, they help take up some of the space in seat part so the baby doesn’t fall over!
Without my video monitor I wouldn’t have seen that my baby got the bumper caught around her neck. You can switch the volume on low for that too, but I would say its a nice product to have.
Yikes! I can definitely see the merit behind that one. Glad she was ok!
I agree with the pacifier wipes! However, we found an alternative use for them (after receiving as shower gift). We use them as the baby’s hand wipes because he is constantly grab the dog’s tongue likes it’s a game! We allow it because it’s a fun game for him and they are “bonding”. (lol) The doc said regular wipes are ok once in a while but since he is at the age where his hands are always in his mouth, pacifier wipes are perfect for the job.
That is an absolutely gross game. Though, I would laugh hysterically watching it, no doubt.
What I want to do is be able to give this list to all the soon to be moms, but they will just ignore it- the same way I did when my friend told me I didn’t NEED the top of the line organic bassinet.
They will poop all over things – organic or not! Right??
Pacifier wipes? Really had no idea there was such a thing! These are too funny, although I do kind of wish I had had the shopping cart cover thing. And I have to agree – diaper genie was nasty.
Penny at Green Moms and Kids
http://greenmomsandkids.wordpress.com
Ha! What the hell is baby oil for? This is awesome. (Visiting from Honest Voices:)
Tanning. Bad, old school 1980′s tanning.
The baby oil is for the mother: her nipples, her tush, her tan!
HA! Though, are you sunbathing naked? You need it on your nipples and tush???
No all of these are S-E-P-E-R-A-T-E isuuuuuuues. We’ll talk later.
Fortunately my sister had kids a couple of years ahead of me. She went through the list and told me yes, no, yes, no in terms of what I really needed. So I didn’t have any of the things on your list, nor the Diaper Genie. (She had one, told me not to get one because they stink). New moms: Listen to the voices of experience, especially when they tell you to minimize.
You lucky girl! I learned the hard way. The smelly Diaper Genie was quickly replaced with just a trash can that we emptied each night. Sprinkle a bit of baking soda on the bottom – works awesome.
If I knew then . . .
I would probably have to add socks to the list. I had soo many baby socks and I know that they are important if you are leaving the house but seriously mine were always getting lost and NEVER staying on their feet! Footsie things worked a lot better for me.
I also agree with just about everything on your list . . . although I do remember the doctor telling me to use baby oil for the cradle cap that 2 out of my 4 had. You need a dime size drop and I had 3 gallons of the stuff (because they include it in EVERY stinkin’ gift set)!
Yes – socks!!! Great addition! And interesting point about the cradle cap – we were told Aquafor. Which you also get gallons of at baby showers and still have when they are four years old!
I totally agree, I actually bought a wipes warmer back in the olden days, it cooked the wipes. That was refreshing. I would also had the shopping cart cover that I stopped carrying because it was a pain in the arse after about 2 weeks. However, I could not live without those plastic placemat things that you just peeled and stuck to the table. Those were a life saver, especially with my food allergic child.
Those things are awesome!!! My son is 19 months old and we still use them at restaurants. They are called Tiny Diner mats. Could not agree more! They are my go-to baby shower present.
Yeah, I didn’t use any of those and somehow we all survived!
Exactly!
So have to agree on the pacifier. I rinsed my oldest binky when it fell, buy my second and third, popped it in my mouth and back into theirs. I call it “passive immunity”, know what? My kids rarely got sick, very few colds, no ear infections. Think I might have something there.
I’m a firm believer that dirt has fiber. And what kid doesn’t need some extra fiber in their diet???
I totally agree about the wipe warmer and baby oil. We also never used baby powder or a bottle warmer! But I have to confess we actually liked the shopping cart cover because our daughter would try to gnaw on the cart handle when she was teething. I could handle her hands touching the cart handle but her mouth on it was just too gross for words.
Save the baby oil for when they are older, it’s the only thing that works to get those stupid “temporary” tattoos off. When your kid comes home with three of them on his face the night before family photos, baby oil is the only thing that will take them off short of a wire brush!!!
Good tip! We had Belle so long on my daughter’s arm that I was starting to wonder if maybe it actually was a permanent tattoo…