What terrible toy did your child receive this xmas? Ever heard of Baby Alive??

baby alive - compressed

She might look cute, but she poops 15 times a day…
(pic from www.hasbro.com)

Before I had children, I would buy kids whatever toy I thought would be fun for them to play with.  Usually it was something with tiny little parts and ridiculously loud noises and battery requirements (Sorry Jen, I believe I bought your children Polly Pockets when I was young, childless and stupid…). Then, I had children, and more specifically, toddlers.  I quickly learned that the best presents are those that give the gift of silence, lack of assembly and no further purchases required.

This Christmas, one of my family members, who will remain anonymous  (though, cough, cough, it might be my sister-in-law…) asked what she should get my four-year-old daughter.  I had seen my daughter play at a friend’s house with a Baby Alive doll that had plastic food and fake bottles.  So I quickly told her to get that and never realized all the options one has when buying such a doll. So what did she decide to buy?  She picked a baby who actually pees, poops, eats real food, and needs to have special diapers bought for it.   The doll also talks endlessly in a computer-like voice that constantly requires my translation for my daughter. Yep, my sister-in-law screwed me. In her defense, I did ask her to buy it.  However, when someone tells you to buy their child a drum, they don’t mean an entire drum set.

Speaking of drums… I’m now seeing one of that gigantic drum sets in store for my niece’s future.  Revenge will be sweet….




  1. Laura Wymbs says:

    Santa started us with baby alive that eats fake bananas, then he moved us on to a peeing and pooping version- I have to say aside from the ridiculously expensive food and diapers and the green poop she is one of our favorite dolls– even when I have to use qtips to clean her out 😉 TIP- preemie diapers are a good substitute- not great but sooo much cheaper and I am sure there is some mom on pinterest who can give you doll food recipes—bahahahahahaha

  2. My in-laws did the drum set. Not one, but FOUR drums and a cymbal. They forgot the Advil, though…FFM2

  3. Truth be told, I did loathe the Polly Pockets. It’s even worse when you have younger ones who want to put the tiny pieces in their mouths. Our worst gift this year was – like you – one I requested. Magna Dots I think it’s called. It’s tons of tiny magnetic disks!! I am having nightmares of kids or pets swallowing the magnets and needing surgery to fix their twisted bowels. Ugh.

  4. The Baby Alive doll sounds just like a real baby-that’s a lot of work for a kid! Every year someone gives my boy an enormous toy like a racetrack or marble track that has to be put together by a parent and takes up too much space :-/

  5. Haha! When I first met the hubs he was on a mission to buy his nieces the noisiest prezzies ever – he was getting back at his brother for stealing his girlfriend, then marrying her!

  6. I had a baby alive when I was little! I loved it, however it was very messy and I am sure your sister-in-law was thinking you were crazy for telling her about it… then probably laughed a lot during check out, wrapping, and mailing this fabulous gift.

  7. That actually sounds like the most disturbing thing ever. I’ve never understood why babies like to play with things that look and act like babies.

  8. It occurred to me too , with my children! Every Christmas , Santa came with horrible(for me) toys, until Marco swallowed a small magnet, and underwent a surgical operation…….
    All’s well what ends well, luckily ….
    Since then , relatives and friends asked , before buying toys!
    Happy New Year everybody!

  9. So funny! This happened with us when our daughter was 2. She got a “talking” baby doll. Who never stopped talking. We called her “squeaky baby”…..and of course my daughter loved her!!
    I actually miss those days…she is now 20 and my youngest is 14.

    I love the name of your blog..so true! And I was one of those moms who said I’d never, (like, ever ever) drive a minivan. Ever. I resisted but finally gave in and LOVED it. It’s been long gone and I’m back in a fun sports car. 😉 But the minivan days were great!!

    Found you from the Aloha Blog Hop! LOVE your humor. Following you!!

  10. giggle* I had a baby alive when I was younger, I am in my 30s.Funny thing my daughter has 2 herself and I dont know why we bought her one…let alone a second. the diapers are ridiculously expensive…so we used premie diapers instead. and the food…ya that is a rip off. so needless to say…all baby alive does now is drink water and pee on herself, like my kids.

    newest follower from aloha blog hop.

    xxAndee @ Shabby Kitteh Blog

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