Six Times A Year – I’m calling shenanigans on that one…

chocolates for valentine's day - compressedTwo women were sitting next to me last night at my daughter’s swim class having a conversation that made me wish that I had one of those plastic blow up bats they give out at baseball games to hit them with repeatedly. They were talking about how their husbands don’t buy them flowers/chocolates or any kind of present for Valentine’s Day because the they feel that it is a commercial holiday and don’t want to buy into that stuff.  One woman said to the other, “My husband said that with the money he would spend on roses on Valentine’s Day, he could get me flowers six times throughout the year.”  It took every fabric of my being not to turn to her and say, “Yes, but does he? Does he actually buy you flowers six times a year?  I’m going to call shenanigans on that one, lady.”  Then the other woman says, “My husband doesn’t like to get anything or go anywhere on Valentine’s Day because it’s always crowded at places and seems forced.”

So I closed my eyes and imagined my dream conversation with them going like this.

“Ladies, you are completely fooling yourself and your men have wonderfully snowed you on this holiday.  They aren’t buying you flowers because they are protesting.  They aren’t buying you flowers because they are cheap and don’t want to put the time and effort into getting them, or getting/doing something else that might take creativity and cash.  In my opinion, you should tell them you are protesting sex that night because everyone expects their wife to put out on Valentine’s Day.  You should tell him that the effort it takes to give him one mind-blowing orgasm can be spread out to six smaller, less exploding orgasms throughout the year.  I’m guessing you’ll get some flowers and chocolate after that conversation…”

10 Comments

Comments

  1. Another reminder to appreciate my cute husband, who made reservations at “our place” almost 3 weeks before Valentine’s Day rolled around. Aaaanddd, get ready to be skewered for suggesting women use sex as a weapon… there’s always someone that has to be self-righteous! ;)

  2. Amen. My husband got me chocolates and hot sex. I dislike flowers because they die anyway… I feel sorry for people like this.

  3. Well, my husband also hates Valentine’s day, however, he did show up with a bouquet of 12 beautiful red roses last night! The sad thing is, those women already know what you were thinking…

  4. That was an awesome comeback seriously loved it. Best calling shenanigans in some time that I have had the pleasure of hearing!! Right now, I wish my husband were and not at work so I can give a hug for how special he did make my day (one that really has had some truly bad memories for me in the past) after reading this one.

  5. Me and hubby don’t celebrate valentines day simply because that’s also his birthday (poor guy, right?!) but I will say he does make up for it during the year. And so true about the sex. It’s not as a weapon, it’s tit for tat =)

  6. I am SOOOOO gonna hit my husband over the head with this. Thank you!

  7. LOL!! Love your perspective, even though we don’t celebrate Valentine’s day ourselves!! My husband doesn’t buy me flowers, period! He buys me flowering plants!! Ever practical!! :D

  8. This totally caught my attention. Although I will admit… my husband for the most part treats me pretty good. But I do like the moral of the story.

  9. Hysterical comeback even if it was just in your mind!! My husband gave me a desk lamp for Valentine’s Day. Why? Because I asked for it. Flowers are beautiful but that lamp will last forever! Lol! And now I can see to work on my art.

  10. HAHAHAHA! Six smaller less mind blowing orgasms! Now THAT’s a great comeback! Found you through the SITS Girls Linky party, but I’ll be back!

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