Scaring the Soon-To-Be Parents – In Just One Weekend…

We had some close friends from DC come to visit us this weekend and two of them are a married couple expecting their first child. It was wonderful to talk to them about their excitement and chat about the world of parenting. However, no baby class or book could prepare them for a weekend with my 4 year-old daughter. We had to keep reassuring them that their baby wouldn’t come out of the womb asking the questions that my daughter asked. Questions asked as if she were interrogating them with a bright light shining in their faces.

– Who is your favorite princess?

– Why do you have 2 bracelets and not just 1?

– Why do you wear your hair back and not down?

– Where does your brother live?

– Do you have any pets?

– Would you like to wear a dress up dress? (Said to the husband, not wife)

However, the question that always leaves folks looking like a deer in headlights is –  “Do you want to play Barbies with me?”

They all look around to the left then right, as if to try to find someone to throw a raft to them for rescue. Each time, I would jump in and come up with a reason they couldn’t play. Finally, I had to fess up and say, “Sweetie, not everyone enjoys playing Barbies every waking minute of the day.”

You would have thought I told her that Clifford really isn’t a pretend big red dog. She was bewildered, confused, and walked away with a look that said, “That crazy woman has no idea what she is talking about…”

I’m guessing that my friends are a bit scared to have a daughter now after this weekend. However, I have to admit, I totally plan on sending them a Barbie as their first baby present. So wrong, but yet… so right.



  1. Oh, I so get this. I remember being pregnant and visiting with friends who had kids and just smugly thinking that our perfect baby will never act up because we’ll be perfect parents. Not! Then we had one kid and we got spooked by people who had two. And we still had a second. We’re not so smug these days..

    Your four-year-old sounds like my almost four-year-old.

  2. We have a nonstop chatterbox here too. Of course she is under the assumption everyone loves her though too.

  3. Ha! My husband has two younger brothers who are both married, but no kids yet. We always say that having them baby-sit our three girls is the best form of birth control they could ever have! :-)

  4. Totally true. I am happy to have my kids, but babysitting one horrifying 2 year old all summer back in high school caused me to switch from the choice to be an elementary teacher to a high school teacher. :)

  5. My girls do the same thing. It’s gotten better, but still- conversations can quickly turn into one sided interrogations!

  6. That actually sounds really cute to me. Maybe I’m a little biased. My son is two and all boy. People leave our house a bit shell-shocked for completely opposite reasons.

  7. For Christmas, I would send them a Barbie and a Barbie movie CD so their daughter can watch it every single day until the Grinch steals the CD and then mommy runs to the rescue by buying a different one. My sister-in-law did that to me.

  8. Love it! I would definitely send them a Barbie. We were the first of our friends to have kids, so we were the ones scaring the new parents!

  9. I have a solution for this Barbie problem these people are having. You just have to be really, really, really BAD at playing Barbie, and then she won’t want to play Barbie with you anymore. If you make Barbie talk like a football player, for instance, that’s not so desirable (“Blue 42! Hut! Hut!”). Or if you try to make Barbie pretend to be Buzz Lightyear and go “to infinity…and beyond!” over and over. Or if Barbie is a real diva the whole time and demands all the rest of the Barbies do everything she says…

    Yeah, you definitely need to buy them Barbie. :) And if you really want to punish them, send them “It’s a Perfect Christmas,” because when they have kids, they’ll ask to hear that movie a million times like my kids do. It’s like crack for kids, I swear.

    Thanks for the post!
    My most recent post:

  10. Imagine if they had to spend time with my sons!

  11. Too funny! I try to reign in all of the crazy talk about kids to my friends/family who are expecting. I figure they will find out soon enough!
    Visiting from SITS sharefest! :0)

  12. this is truly funny- and truly scary!

    Love from Germany,



  1. […] why I found myself laughing out loud as I read Danielle’s latest post over at Martinis and Minivans. It all started when two soon-to-be parents came over for a visit, and encountered Danielle’s […]

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