My Week of Observing Cartoons – They Are Seriously Messed Up, Folks…

docKeyPoses_thinking_239_400_c1 - compressedSo this week, I decided to take a keen, sarcastic look into the cartoons my children watch. Normally, I use their tv time as a way to cook, check email, or read the latest celebrity insanity on However, this week, I decided to watch these cartoons and see what kind of observations I could make. I posted some of these observations on Facebook, but have expanded the list here. Here’s what I came up with.

1. Donald Duck is really a dick. Why do they hang out with that guy? And Minnie needs to slap some sense into Daisy – girl, you need to find yourself another duck who you could actually understand when they speak. Does anyone understand that damn duck? Who came up with the idea to have a cartoon character that slurs and is inaudible.

2. Handy Manny is really that middle-aged guy who smoked a lot of dope when he was younger and thinks his tools are talking to him. Think about it – he wears the same grungy trucker hat every day, sings songs by himself, and carries around a toolbox filled with imaginary friends. I’m guessing he hung out in the corner of a fraternity house in college tipping his hat to the ladies and saying, “Hola chickas…” while eating Cheetos uncontrollably.

3.  Doc McStuffin’s head is HUGE. Like seriously, seriously HUGE. I’m thinking she might want to skip the toys and go right to self-diagnosis. Is Head-A-Tosis something for the Big Book of Boo-Boo’s??

4. Thomas the Tank Engine trains are mean. And you should always be suspect of a kids show that is voiced by the likes of Alec Baldwin, George Carlin and Ringo Star.

5. When is Max going to start using sentences? Ruby and Max are obviously orphaned and the state hasn’t figured out that Ruby is doing all the work. Though, she doesn’t really seem to be the smartest tool in the shed because she can never find him. I’m assuming that child protective services will be involved shortly…

So there you have it. I’m letting my kids watch some seriously insane stuff. I have this vision in my head of what production meetings must be like for cartoon design. Do they say things like, “No, no, Doc McStuffin’s head should be even larger…it’s not big enough…” I’d love to be a fly on the wall for those conversations.

Ah well, my kids don’t seem too screwed up from watching them. At least not yet. Let’s see what happens when they start watching more of Yo Gabba Gabba… that’ll really push them into the world of hallucinating drugs…



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  1. Michelle says:

    I don’t believe it is on anymore, but “The Doodlebops” (a Canadian show that used to be on Disney channel) (Google it…seriously freaky…) was bizarre, and even more disturbing than the fact that Max & Ruby’s grandmother never seemed to notice their parents weren’t there either…

    • Martinis and Minivans says:

      Oh no, that crap is still on. Those costumes and makeup creep me out so much. What are those things anyway??

  2. I have had the same thoughts about Max & Ruby! I think the Bubble Guppies is an absolutely ridiculous show. If you are going to have a show set under the water, you should have stuff that belongs under the water. NOT COWS and other ridiculous stuff. And Yo Gabba Gabba is not allowed in my house.

  3. I don’t know who some of these characters are but your thoughts on Donald Duck and Thomas crack me up because they are so true :)

    • Martinis and Minivans says:

      Consider yourself lucky to not know the other characters. You have been saved unnecessary pain.

  4. My youngest watches all those shows too. I’m frequently stuck watching them as well. I like your observation about Doc! Max & Ruby is my least favorite! I think Ruby is a “B” and never listens to Max he knows what he’s talking about. LOL.. I’m so happy my son Hates Yo Gabba Gabba, I couldn’t take much more of that business.
    Great post.


    • Martinis and Minivans says:

      At least Yo Gabba Gabba has music. Once you get that stupid Max and Ruby theme song in your head, you are doomed for the rest of the day.

  5. I just found you on the TGIF Blog Hop and glad I did. This post made me laugh hysterically! I used to think the same things when my kids were smaller (now 16 and 11). I’m surprised any of us surprised Bugs Bunny too! Happy Mother’s Day and I’m looking forward to your posts.

    • Martinis and Minivans says:

      Thanks for finding me! I’m headed to check ya out now. And yeah, Bugs Bunny was brutal. So was Scooby Doo. Why didn’t they ever catch on that it’s just a sheet over someone’s head? Insanity.

  6. You’re right about Donald Duck! How can anyone understand what he says?! 😀

  7. I hate the Max and Ruby cartoon. Ruby does all the work and takes care of Max and although when you write it out it sounds sweet, when you watch it it feels like a bad lesson to teach little girls. On that same note apparently the Thomas the Train has often been criticized for it’s lack of important female characters.

    • Martinis and Minivans says:

      I never thought about the girl train thing but you are right – it is quite a male dominated show. However, you can say that Lalaloopsy is all girls or Strawberry Shortcake or whatever other painful pink and purple character is out there. Interesting.

  8. Hilarious! I’ve always thought that about Donald but you word it so well :)

  9. This is hilarious! I have thought the same about Max and Ruby as well. My kid loves it though. Also have you seen Henry Hugglemonster? Kind of crazy looking monsters there!

  10. This is hilarious! My kids don’t watch these same cartoons, but now I’m tempted to do the same exercise. Some of the stuff on cartoon network is a little crazy. No wonder the kids are popping off … :)

  11. Scooby Doo. Oh man. Let’s be real here: Shaggy was a pothead who thought Scooby could talk. Daphne was a little on the shall we say, um, friendly side? You know she was doing something with Fred.

    I don’t watch cartoons now but the ones I watched growing up were straight up twisted.

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    My Week of Observing Cartoons – They Are Seriously Messed Up, Folks… – Martinis and Minivans

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