When my daughter was teething, she started to bite the top rail of the crib. When we said, “NO!” in a strong voice, she was done. Never did it again. And for the past few years, we smiled when we saw those few cute bite marks on the crib and remembered that one funny moment.
Now, those days are done. My 22 month old son uses that same crib and has taken his beaver impression to an entirely new level. Don’t believe me? Check out what has become of those few little bite marks.
So I’m thinking that either he’s going to have horrible indigestion where he pukes brown paint chips or he ate so much wood that he’s literally going to poop out a Lincoln log.
I’ve decided that since my girl didn’t do this, that it must be a boy thing. This has led me to a theory.
My theory is that penises are actually where idiotic decisions are stored. That’s why the part has to be bigger than the other parts of the body – because there are a plethora of idiotic decisions to be made by a man.
No, no, I’m not male-bashing. I’m simply offering a scientific explanation for why my son thought it was a genius idea to ingest half of his crib. Heck, maybe he really is hoping to poop out some Lincoln logs. In that case, he might be brilliant and my entire theory will have been debunked. Where are Myth Busters when you need them???16 Comments