My 17 month old son might be a pervert…

My 17 month old son made his father proud this past weekend.  And by proud, I mean that he horrified me but would probably get a high-five from his Dad if he was old enough.  Why?  Well after dining at a restaurant on Saturday night and all the waitresses cooing and cahhing over my kids (the restaurant was empty, I’m pretty sure they were bored and looking for some entertainment…) my son took a liking to one young waitress in particular.  We paid our bill, stood my son up on the floor to get his jacket on, and turned back to our table to grab our things.  When we turned around, our son had taken off like a rocket running directly to his favorite waitress.  She was sitting low on the ground to talk to our daughter and without even a second’s notice, my son proceeded to motorboat the innocent young lady.  Yes, you read that correctly.  He took his face and plunged it into the woman’s breasts and then shook his head from left to right repeatedly.

Needless to say, the look on the waitress’s face was priceless.  She looked as if an old man had just slapped her on the ass and said, “Great job, sweet cheeks.”  Except this dirty old man was my 17 month old son.  When my son finally removed his face from her chest region, he turned around with the biggest grin on his face feasibly possible.  My jaw fell to the ground and I apologized profusely to the waitress while shoving us all out the restaurant’s front door.  However, when I looked back at my husband who was holding our son’s hand, I couldn’t help but see the slightest smirk on his face and an air of pride in his step.  I knew at that moment my husband was saying in his head, “That’s my boy!”

If this is my son at 17 months old, I should start apologizing now to waitresses for what he’s going to be as a hormonal teenager… I’m thinking I might need to get a lawyer on retainer soon.



  1. I. Am. Dying.

    That motorboatin’ sonofa…


  2. OMFG I actually laughed out loud. I would’ve been laughing to hard to be embarrassed and after calming down of course explain not to ever do that again. Laugh some more while printing this post and sticking it into a little kid memory/scrap book.

  3. How hilarious! I still nurse my 18 mo old to sleep, and I often wonder what happens when our babysitter, who has a huge chest, is over. I could see him trying to nuzzle in to her.

  4. Oh goodness! How funny!

  5. wow I would have been mortified, poor waitress!

  6. OMG that is hilarious! Reminds me when I used to work at a daycare and a 2 year old stuck his hand down my shirt while saying “What are those in there?” Yeah like you don’t know kid. HAHA…I tried to avoid too much cleavage after that…

  7. How stunningly embarrassing for you… and how hilariously funny for everyone else involved.

  8. Hahahaha! Oh my god. I am dying over here!

  9.!! I would have high-fived him!! Hahaha :) Thanks for sharing.

    I found you through What Jean Likes Aloha blog hop. I am now following you.

    You can follow my blog at Thanks :)

  10. Oh my God. I am so glad I’m not reading this in public because I am laughing so hard. He must have been so proud of himself!

  11. Haha! I am laughing so hard right now 😀
    You’ll definitely have to watch him when he’s a teenager, he’s started very young with all that ;D.

    I’m sure his dad would’ve been really proud of that 😀

    – found you via the Aloha Bloghop (: !

    xoxo Grace

  12. Okay so I’m visiting from SITS and I just HAD to come by and read about your kinky 17 month old. lol. This was hilarious! I’m sure it was embarrassing, but this is a story you’ll tell FOREVER! Happy Saturday!

  13. That is TOO FUNNY!!!! You got your hands full with that one. Found you through Bloggy Moms. Looking forward to reading more.

  14. WOW! At least you let him finish and didn’t compound the problem by also groping her chest. :) Ellen

  15. Thanks for the laugh this morning! Just wait though, you can always embarrass him at his wedding with the story :)

  16. Priceless! I hope you bust that story out at a graduation party or wedding rehearsal dinner in his future!

  17. I just read this out loud to my husband and he agrees with your husband. I’m kind of disturbed by that.

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