What we miss about them…

As many of you know, I’m in the throws of writing a memoir about the decade my grandmother and I wrote letters to each other. I’m spending hours a day editing, thinking, editing some more, and desperately trying to think less.

While reading one of her letters last week, I had a moment of sincere sadness. The kind that makes you  put down what you are reading and lay your head low. And since I knew there were probably others who felt like that, I put a call out on Facebook for folks to share what they miss about their own grandparents. The answers were beautiful and heartbreaking.

I thought I would share a few…

“My grandaddy told THE cheesiest jokes but they were still hilarious. And my grandmother giggled like a little girl every time–as if she hadn’t heard them a billion times before. I hate that they never knew my children.”

“My grandma had a bosom. She had huge breasts and it didn’t matter if you were 3′ or 6′. You were gonna get lost in her chest when she hugged you. And she was gonna hug you. A real hug, not one of those sideways “I’m afraid to let our bodies touch” excuses for a hug.”

“My grandfather was like a father to me. He would clean out my car, check under the hood, make sure our home was sound. He was more active then me. I miss him very much. He died at 89 3 years ago and I wish I had 89 more years with him. It makes me sad that my 5 yr old only had 2 yrs with him, I’d love to hear him talk about his life again.”

“The smell of her cooking. Nothing I could ever make will smell like what that woman can do in a kitchen.”

“I miss my grams sense of humor.  We used to have this saying that I wish I had recorded…It was: I love you deeper than the ocean, higher than the sky, and bigger than the whole wide world. And more than that.” 

“Her soft hands and her touch when she held my hand!”

“Everything. Just everything.”

It’s amazing that many of you are total strangers, yet we all have that common longing to spend one more hour with a grandparent. I, too, miss everything about her. Even the annoying stuff that made me want to take the Judge Judy autobiography she loved and throw it out the window.

Thank you for sharing and making me feel like what I’m writing and doing is all worth it.



  1. rachelcartucci says:

    My grandparents raised me since I was 6 months old. My mom was always there but she had some trauma and could not care for us. I lost my beautiful tiny grandmother when I was 21 and then my grandfather when I was 28. Every thought of them brings tears to my eyes. There is no more feeling of comfort,no one else to ever completely understand me,and no one left to remember my childhood with.It feels so lonely without them….I wish they were here every day.

  2. You are so blessed to have those letters and that time with your grandmother. It brings me to tears when I think about how much my grandmother (who passed when I was pregnant with my first child) would just love my kids. There are certain things they do–dumb jokes, for example–that I know she would just love, and all the little quirks would have been so appreciated.

    Looking forward to reading your memoir!

  3. This makes me happy and sad at the same time. In the very best way.

  4. Grandparents are a blessing. There’s such a sweetness to them. All of mine have passed on, so now I enjoy watching my parents be grandparents to my children and my nieces and nephews.

  5. This post is making me miss my grandparents – they raised me since I was a year old until I was about 14. My grandfather passed when I was 17 and my grandmother passed 6 years ago. I miss my grandfather’s laugh – he had an infectious laugh that no one could resist. He was so full of life! I miss my grandmother – although she was hard, she had those moments where she was so sweet and sensitive to your emotions. I love them both and they will be in my thoughts forever.

  6. very nice post. I remember as a child staying at my grandmothers every friday night. she would take us to the store and we would each get a can of spaghetti o’s for dinner. I always got it with meatballs, my brother got his with franks. sounds kind of silly but it was special then.

  7. Beautiful post. I miss the way my grandma would laugh so hard until she cried. I have such a vivid mental image of her laughing, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  8. I miss my grandmother’s encouragement. She was my biggest “cheerleader” in everything I did – crazy or not. There are days when I wish I could call her up and have her cheer me on and make me feel better. My other grandmother, I miss her at family functions. She was the head of the family and since her passing, it seems everything has gone downhill. She was the glue that held us all together.

  9. My grandmothers both died less than six months before I got married. I feel, in a way, I only knew them as a child would know grandparents and never as an adult would. It makes me sad to have not had that opportunity, but I have many wonderful memories to look back on.

  10. My maternal grandmother could COOK! I miss seeing her in the kitchen…and of course, the food. My paternal grandmother was MY Baba. I only shared her because I had to. She was nearly 103 when she passed (she and my daughter were born 100 years and some months apart) so I was fortunate that I also got to know her as an adult and that my children will remember her. I miss everything about both of them. I wish I could have bottled their wisdom and knowledge and experiences to have now when I can truly appreciate it. I so especially miss my visits with my Baba…I just miss being in her presence.

  11. Normally, I would NEVER drop a link in the comments, but I just happened to be rereading this earlier tonight, and it’s too perfect: http://www.somethingclever2point0.com/2013/06/my-grandfathers-legacy.html

  12. “Everything” is right. I grew up next door to my grandma and it was so wonderful. We had family meals, with all the extended family that lived in town, every week. And Sunday breakfast, too. We spent the night all the time. She was amazing. Just absolutely amazing. She could cook and bake and can like you wouldn’t believe. She love having the house full of kids and family. I miss her dearly every day.

  13. Our kids have a much closer relationship to their grandparents than we did as the children of immigrants, growing up far away.

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