Welcome Don’t Chew On The Dinner Table - we’re happy to have you Inside the Blogger’s Studio! This series is a way to get to know other bloggers, while also getting a glimpse into the life of a fellow parent. Who doesn’t love feeling like they aren’t the only ones going crazy?
I first fell in love with this blogger because of her name. Hilarious name for a blog. Then, you read her stuff and you are so glad you came. She’s pregnant right now and her observations on pregnancy and “things to look forward to” are spot on and damn funny.
With that said, let the questions begin!
If you had to sum up your blog in two sentences, what would you say?
It is my insanity made Public Record. So a REALLY bad idea.
What thing did you do today as a parent you wish you could take back and do over?
I shouldn’t have forced Sass to choose between Fruity Cheerios and Cinnamon Chex this morning for breakfast. I should have let him just have both in the same bowl. What would it have hurt, really? Except that I know he would have hated it because the cinnamon would have gotten all over his O’s and he would have refused to eat any of it because “Dey are MIXING!” See! Mom really DOES know EVERYTHING!
What thing did you do today that you are happiest about?
Well… no one was naked when we left the house this morning so I’m gonna call it a win.
What is your least favorite activity to do with your children?
Visit the homes of childless friends and family because they are always full of expensive breakables. And please don’t say “Oh, there’s no way your sweet baby girl could break that!” because she will. She is an albino baby Hulk hell-bent on destruction. And don’t let those big blues fool you… she really DOES want to know what your Waterford sounds like as it shatters on the hardwood.
What is your most favorite activity to do with your children?
Converse. I love hearing them talk… even when it isn’t in any particular recognized language. I love watching their faces as they try to make their thoughts heard and I love the way their eyes light up when we can share ideas and understand one another. AND they say some crazy stuff that makes me feel normal.
When your child drives you absolutely crazy and you want to scream a curse word, which word do you wish you could say?
“Sweet Hairy Jeezus, Man-Child! What darkness-loving heathen beast has crawled up inside you and taken possession of your brain and body? Somebody needs an exorcism and a time out!” Oh no wait…. That is what I say. What I am thinking is “Go to my happy place. Go to my happy place. Go to…”
What’s your favorite lie you have ever told your child?
That thunder is just the clouds getting rowdy and bumping together. They must not be using their listening ears up high in the sky and have started jumping off the furniture in their sky living rooms! How rude of them!
At what moment did you realize that you really were grown up?
I don’t wanna and you can’t make me.
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