Heartbroken. I freakin’ hate cancer.

I spend a lot of my time sharing the funny side of my life with you. I tell stories about poop in my hand, or my son motor-boating a waitress. And I treasure those stories because they are the truth of my life.

But today I don’t feel like being funny.

Today I found out that a friend from college lost his battle to cancer. A battle he fought long, hard and with an amazing team of cheerleaders around him. His wife is a dear friend from college and together they sat at my wedding seven years ago and shared their happiness with me.

And now my heart is broken for them. For their two children. For the rebuilding that happens now.

This past year, I have been amazed at the happiness their family was determined to have. To make memories together and laugh as much as possible. I loved seeing all their pictures smiling on Facebook and saw their joy in being together. They were and will be an amazing inspiration to me.

Today my daughter asked if I would take a nap with her. She asks me almost every time she is supposed to take a nap and I always tell her no. Today I said yes. I pretended to sleep while I listened to her half-snore and cuddle closer into my chest. It felt as if her head against my heart could heal it.

So do me a favor, OK? Instead of spending $5 on coffee this week, maybe donate it to a cancer research organization. Because I freakin’ hate cancer. And maybe someday, our children can talk about how they witnessed the cure for it and we can know that our money was part of that.

American Cancer Society





  1. So sorry Danielle, for your loss and for that of your friend’s family. It’s heartbreaking to think of having to survive the loss of a husband and father at such a young age. I’ll keep you all in my thoughts…

  2. I am sorry for your loss. On a very similar loss from a former classmate who was so well loved by our town at 43 leaving behind 2 kids as well. I was a mess over it and hugged my kids extra tight. Hugs your way.

  3. I’m sorry for the loss of your dear friend. I freakin hate cancer too. My aunt passed away Monday after a fifteen year battle with ovarian cancer. My heart is broken.

  4. Carolyn says:

    We are saddened by the loss of this wonderful husband, father, and friend, and applaud your call to help for cancer research. Here is something you can do each day when you sit down at the computer: go to the site http://www.thebreastcancersite.com and click on the box to give free mammographies to those who cannot afford them. Just once a day – you don’t even have to explore the site. Mom

  5. Natalie says:

    This is always so sad. I am a mom of young kids who make my house chaotic but also I am an oncology nurse. I do see these scenarios among people my age and it is the worst feeling. I see the spouses struggling in these situations, too. You just want to hold them close. I am reassured that the battles do not always end like your friend’s did. There is a lot of hope and progress. I help my patients to grab the reins of that hope and journey on at full speed.

  6. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your friends. Thinking of you!

  7. So sorry for your sadness and loss. I lost my mother when I was 10 and it forever changed my life. And even though you slowly heal, that absence was so acute during all of the big moments in my life, from getting my period to graduating high school and college … to not having her there to take me wedding dress shopping … or plan my wedding … or tell me if everything I was experiencing during pregnancy was normal or not … not to mention those first weeks after my child was born. So many questions. And I so needed someone to come over and give me a break and let me take a nap or just have one blessed evening out with my husband. On the flip side of the coin, my close friend from growing up lost her 10-year-old this past fall to leukemia … a beautiful girl full of so much love and light. I can’t even imagine how you begin to put your life back together after this kind of loss. So my heart goes out to you and your friend and her children. We all need to remember how precious life is and not take even the little things for granted … a cuddle, a bed-time story. Because in the big picture, those are the things that really matter. And yes, it’s so important to support research and organizations who help the families left behind. Thanks for reminding everyone with this post. Wishing you peace!

  8. I’m so sorry for your loss and will keep the family in my thoughts and prayers. We lost my sister in March after a wicked 3 year battle with breast cancer. My hope is the same as yours – that our children won’t have to watch their friends and family members die way too young. Hugs.

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