Facebook Posts From The Week

facebook posts by Martinis and MinivansA very kind and obviously delusional friend told me my posts on Facebook from this week were sorta funny. They also told me that I had a small butt so I’m not sure I should really trust their opinion. But heck, both compliments made me feel good so I thought I would post some of them here. Happy Friday! Hope you too feel like your ass looks small and perky today as well…

Monday: I’m listening from the other room as my daughter is teaching her little brother how to say the words dinosaur, football and vagina. The things that all men love.

Tuesday: I forgot to bring my son’s bathing suit to the pool today. I did remember his swim diaper so he looked like an 80-year-old European wearing a wiener bikiner.

Wednesday: My son just yelled “mama” only 30 minutes into his nap. I’m going to believe he yelled, “This nap is awesome & I’ll be here for 2 more hours so you can go check email and watch The Real Housewives of Orange County”. Sounds just like “mama” to me…

Thursday: How many of you have ever put a blanket over your child’s pee covered sheet in the middle of the night just to be able to go back to sleep? I’m uhm….asking for a friend…that’s gross and I would never do that myself….cough cough.

Friday: A friend took me to the pool at her country club yesterday with some other moms – I probably didn’t need to show them my terrible bikini razor burn and announce that it looked like I had herpes. Why can’t I have a filter? Oh yes….because I’m a New York Italian.

12 Comments

Comments

  1. Hahahahaha

  2. I follow you on FB (not at BPC, but the real me) and you had me rolling with these all week! You are hilarious!

  3. Apparently I need to have kids for the content alone. Love it!

  4. Funny! I can relate to Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday – especially Wednesday! Why can’t my two-year-old nap for at least 2 hours???

  5. Your fb posts keeps me sane reminds us we’re all in it together. Cheers!

  6. Thursday? You are a genius.

  7. I love friends with FB statuses like yours. I’d bring you to my pool in a flash.. liven things up a bit!

  8. Friday’s post is DEFINITELY my favorite! HA!

    I never change my son’s sheet in the middle of the night so a blanket ALWAYS gets thrown over it.

  9. lilmrsmchenry says:

    Protip: When I make the kids’ beds I layer. Mattress cover, sheet, mattress cover, sheet. Whenever we have a bed wetter, puke volcano, spill, whatever. I walk in half asleep, pull off the top two layers, walk out and throw the nastiness in the washer on the way back to bed. I figured it out when my first was a bed wetter and still do it four kids later. I don’t even have to search for a clean towel/blanket in my sleep induced haze.

  10. These are all awesome.

    And this is a great post idea!

  11. Too funny! And btw – I used to put a lap pad down on the bed when the kids diapers didn’t quite make it. Was not about to change the whole thing, have them wake up, and then me suffer for it all.

  12. Laughing! I could definitely relate to Thurs way back when!

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