I recently went to Target. Well of course I went to freakin’ Target because that’s the address I should list as my official residence. Anyway, I went to Target and watched as a high school girl let her boyfriend say “shut up” to her over and over again. I wrote a post on Facebook about how she should dump him and date the guy who tutors the cheerleaders in Biology.
But it got me thinking.
Was I that girl in high school?
I think the answer is no. But I can say that I’d definitely be disappointed to see how I acted at times now through the lens of a mother.
I’m 39 years old. I went to high school over 20 years ago. I look back at that person and want to shake my head. I cared so much what other people thought. And yes, I know that is normal for the age but I gave up the chance to make some amazing friends with some nice, normal people because I was always trying to be something I wasn’t. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. Couldn’t figure out if I was pretty or gawky. And spent way too much time caring about stupid boys instead of the nice guys who actually liked me for my personality. I wasn’t a mean girl but I definitely wasn’t always nice.
What’s kind of interesting is that I wasn’t funny in high school. I wasn’t known as the class clown or don’t think anyone would describe me as funny.
Now, I make a living as writer, hoping to pull at people’s heartstrings while making them laugh. And I don’t care what anyone thinks. Well, that’s not true, I do care. I just don’t let it dictate who I am. People say they have no regrets in life but that’s not the case for me. I do have regrets. I regret that I didn’t say yes to more things and no to others. I know I can’t change it, but the truth is that I wish I could go back sometimes and slap my ass and say, “Go get em’ girl – you got this.”
I hope that girl in Target finds that sort of clarity soon. It would be a shame for her mouth to stay closed for any more length of time than it already has. I’m pretty sure she’s got some amazing things to say. The first would be “F’ You” to the boy next to her.