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My advice to bloggers…

January 10, 2014 MartinisZ

I received an email last week from a blogger who was looking for advice. She was filling her favorites bar on her computer with all sorts of articles on editorial calendars, writing prompts, and things to “help” a blogger. She was overwhelmed and unsure how to keep her head above water.

To me, the answer was simple.

Just write.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the business of blogging – and that’s not such a bad thing at times – but in the end it’s about one thing – what you write. So yes, take the time to learn the business things, but when you are feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to go – do what you did in the beginning – write.

Here’s the truth. I don’t have an editorial calendar. I don’t know what I’m going to write about each week. Do you know why? Because then I wouldn’t be authentic. For the type of blog I have, I believe authenticity is key. I write about what’s happening in my life right now. I write and hope that there’s something there you can either relate to or laugh your ass off about – or maybe, sometimes, even both.

So my advice to bloggers? Just write. If you can plan, great. If you can’t – don’t sweat it. Just be real and write about what you love. And if you don’t love it – don’t write about it. Readers can see through fake faster than Miley Cyrus can take her clothes off and jump on construction equipment.

So just write.

Blogging

The Five Types of Moms at The Children’s Museum

August 13, 2013 MartinisZ

While at our local children’s museum this morning, I took notice of the other moms around me and quickly realized that we all fit into one of the five categories of moms. Which one are you?

1. The Cell Phone Mom: the one who never gets off her cell phone and looks confused when she looks up and can’t find her children. What she doesn’t realize is that they are already downstairs painting inappropriate images of their body parts on their face and arm.

2. The Loud Screaming Mom: the one who says “Johnny” in the loudest voice known to man. And you know that “Johnny” is in a butt load of trouble later that includes being called words that are only heard on The Jerry Springer Show.

3. The Backpack Mom: the one who is overly prepared. She’s got the wipes, sippy cups, snacks, hand sanitizer, more snacks, and probably even a change of clothes in that sack on her back. She also is now slightly humpback and probably will need a walker in about 10 years. Though, she’ll probably have orange slices in a nice clean ziploc bag hanging from her walker, in case of a snack emergency.

4. The Trashy Mom: She’s the one wearing the cut off jean shorts that show her underwear and a pink bra under her way too low white t-shirt. She’s the one who might actually be ON The Jerry Springer Show someday.

5. The Ponytail and Sweats Mom: This is me. The mom who doesn’t dress up to roll around on the ground with her children or iron things that will only get ruined when she squishes herself inside those tiny, little playhouses . She’s also the one who might not remember her last shower. And she’s definitely not wearing a pink lacy bra to a children’s museum. Damn, she barely wears one of those when she is trying to get pregnant. And once those babies are made and birthed, that bra goes to the back of the drawer where it belongs.

However, no matter what type of mom you are, if you are at a jam-packed children’s museum with your kids, we all have that same look. The look of – please, oh please, can one of those perky teenagers who work here bring me a cocktail in a sippy cup immediately…

Blogging

We all need to hear these words sometimes…

June 4, 2013 MartinisZ

I went to the Children’s Museum this morning here in town and had an experience that I will probably never forget. My son and I were in the elevator (daughter is at camp – a wonderful invention – I would like to kiss deeply the person who thought of camp). Anyway, my son and I were getting into the elevator when a woman came in looking a bit frazzled. She had a big double stroller with a boy in the front seat around 7 years old, and then 3 other children around her, slightly older.

Looking very frustrated, I couldn’t help but hear her arguing with one of the children about something that happened that embarrassed them. I didn’t hear the story details so I’m not sure what they were referring to. However, at the moment the elevator stopped, the boy in the stroller started banging his head against the front of the stroller, then against the elevator hand rail. He was yelling that he wanted to go to the play area. Yelling loudly and banging over and over again. She struggled with getting him to stop and I helped her push the stroller out of the elevator so we all could exit.

I looked at the mother, then at him, then back at the mother. She had tears in her eyes. I realized when I looked at the son that he had down syndrome. I smiled at the mother and said, “There’s just rough days being a mother, isn’t there?”

Her reply is the reason I will never forget this story.

She replied with a shaking voice and tears coming down her face, “Every day is like this for me.”

I then decided to do what goes against every fabric of my New Yorker’s body. I walked right up to this woman I have never met before and I hugged her. And she cried in my arms. Then I said that words that I think every mother needs to hear, even me.

“You are a good mother.”

I repeated this about 10 times to her. I told her that we are all doing the best we can do in life. Then, I told her that she was definitely a better mother than I was because I hardly ever brought just 2 kids to the museum, let alone 4. She laughed and I told her that I hoped she had a good day. Though, I knew the chance of that was hard for her to imagine.

My heart has been hurting for that mother ever since I walked away from her.

My hats are off to all of you with children with extra needs. I hope you all know that you are good mothers. And it’s ok to cry. Even at the children’s museum.

Blogging

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