Adventures in Babysitting

I’m not pregnant. However, the 4 year-old I had over for a play date this morning thinks otherwise. His quote to me –  “Looks like you’ve got a baby growing in your belly – it’s kinda big”.

Suck it, kid. If it’s a baby then her name is Little Debbie.

However, the fun didn’t end there.

My favorite quote came while changing my son’s diaper. The little boy then said, “I changed my stuffed animal’s diaper one time. Hey, want to see my butt cheek?”

The tea immediately came spitting out of my mouth at that one. However, I didn’t have time to answer before he literally pulled down his pants and proceeded to show me his butt cheek. That, in itself, was odd, but the crazier thing was that there was nothing spectacular to see on his butt. No moles, beauty marks, leftover marker from a crazy night with the boys. He simply wanted to show me his actual butt cheek.

The play date ended with him telling my 4 year-old daughter this, “I’m not going to marry you but you can still come over to my house sometime.” I’m not sure if she actually expressed an interest in marrying him without my  knowledge but I like a guy that is honest from the beginning. I appreciate it, kid. You’re welcome back anytime. Just keep your eyes away from my stomach next time, ok?



  1. hahahaha. Hilarious!! Some kids just make you cringe. Yesterday I was reading in my daughters kindergarten class and one of the kids said to me ” why do you always wear sweats when you come to read…you never wear anything else?” instead of saying to her…” because I’m too fucking fat to fit in my skinnies right now…so BACK OFF!”…I said ” because I jogged all the way there”…which was a lie! I didn’t friggin jog 15 miles to the school.

  2. Ha! He’s comfortable in his own skin. That’s a bonus, too. I sure don’t want anybody seeing my butt cheek.

  3. My nephew told me that a few summers ago. I slapped him. Literally. And said do t ever say anything like that to a woman ever again.

  4. I hate kids’ honesty some days. Unless it’s at other’s expense. Like, it was hilarious when my son patted my pregnant belly and then looked over at his daddy’s and patted it in the same loving manner. No so funny when he patted my belly a few months after having his sister in the same loving manner. I’m working on it, kid.

  5. I love reading blogs from people with a sense of humor!

  6. I love a plain speaking man (I think!) 😛

  7. Ohh, he is a hoot! I love the part about how he pulled down his pants.

    Heidi’s Wanderings

  8. What a funny kid! (or pain- whatever LOL)

  9. I actually find myself fairly thin but today daughter told me my stomach was kinda big and must have a baby in it! To be fair, I still have 5-10 pounds from my near one-year-old, but come on kid! I still ate ice cream for dessert.

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