Inside the Blogger’s Studio: Life As I See It

June 18, 2013 1 Comment

life as I know it logoWelcome Life As I See It- we’re happy to have you Inside the Blogger’s Studio! This series is a way to get to know other bloggers, while also getting a glimpse into the life of a fellow parent. Who doesn’t love feeling like they aren’t the only ones going crazy?

Jen is one of the many funny and highly entertaining bloggers with Chicago Now. I immediately love a blogger who takes on Kim Kardashian.

With that said, let the questions begin!

If you had to sum up your blog in two sentences, what would you say?

My blog is about life.  The way I see it.

What thing did you do today as a parent you wish you could take back and do over?

Leftover cake for breakfast~hey, we’re on summer break.

What thing did you do today that you are happiest about?

My two healthy fat feet hit the ground when I woke up this morning and maneuvered me into the shower.  Healthy and clean~I start the day a very rich woman.

What is your least favorite activity to do with your children?

Arranged playdates.  God, those have got to be worse than an arranged marriage.  I always hated having to hang out with “their” friends’ mothers.  Yuck.  I preferred to have them play with my friends’ kids.  I didn’t give a flying fig if they liked the kids or not I was the mommy and to be honest, I liked my friends better.

What is your most favorite activity to do with your children?

Before they became teenagers?  Put them to bed, of course.

When your child drives you absolutely crazy and you want to scream a curse word, which word do you wish you could say?

Mother-f*ckity-f*ck-f*ck-f*ck

What’s your favorite lie you have ever told your child?

I tell the younger boy I love the older boy more.  I reason that I have known the older kid longer, thus the extra four years of love.

At what moment did you realize that you really were grown up?

I was about 31 years old.  After a night with an endless pitcher of margaritas, I spent the morning with my head resting on my 18-month-olds porta-potty in the front room listening to the head-banging whining of Calliou and his equally whiny sister Rosie…puking my guts out.  Somewhere between the Calliou rolling credits and the opening song alerting me that Arthur was coming on next I realized that I was all grown up.

Blog Web Address: http://www.chicagonow.com/life-as-i-see-it

Facebook Address: https://www.facebook.com/lifeasiseeit10

Twitter Address: https://twitter.com/lifelikeiseeit

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Why my father rocks…

June 16, 2013 2 Comments

Dad - compressedWhen we are parents of young children, we tend to focus on our spouses on Father’s Day – the father of our children. And as much as I love the hubby, and I do more than I can ever write about in a blog, I feel as if my own father gets left out a bit. Perhaps I can’t buy him one of those expensive electronic gadgets he loves, but what I can do is use this blog as a way for him to know that I think he rocks.

Why does my Dad rock? Here’s why:

1. There is not a day from my childhood or adult life that my father doesn’t make time for me. If I ask for help, he provides. If I ask for guidance, he is there. When I call, he answers. He is a man to be counted on.

2. All of my childhood memories include my father playing with me. He would love to get down on the floor and wrestle with us. He would let me climb on his back and pretend he was a pony. He taught me card games and how to grab the spoon super fast during that crazy game of Spoons. He always has a smile on his face. Amazing.

3. He made me work hard. When I had a test in school, he would make up practice tests. And he would even put a line at the top for where to put your name. Yes, I’m serious. He wanted us to feel like it was the real deal. However, I’m sorry Dad, it didn’t work that successfully for Biology… I still have no idea what the endocrine system for a worm looks like.

4. When I called him in tears because my marriage to my 1st husband was falling apart and I needed to go see a lawyer, he flew to where I lived the very next day just to go with me. He wanted to take care of me, and honestly, I needed to be cared for. I will never forget that he did that for me. Never.

5. He loves my children unconditionally. My father was made to not only be a dad but to also be a grandpa. He plays with my kids just like he played with me. And the best part is that they think his jokes are hilarious. They are definitely his target audience.

Happy Father’s Day Dad – thank you for always reading and being my Dad. I hit the jackpot when I got to be your daughter.

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Facebook posts from the week…

June 14, 2013 6 Comments

facebook postSo a few of my Facebook followers said that I should write a collection of my Facebook posts from the week and put them in a blog post for readers who don’t follow me on Facebook. So hey, I thought I would give it a try.  Here’s a glimpse into my Facebook posts from this week…

Monday: I look so skinny lying down. Gravity rocks… until it is time to pee.

Tuesday: Daughter was supposed to be asleep an hour ago. She just yelled up for me and when I walked into her room, she told me that she couldn’t sleep because something was stuck in her butt. I was scared to look but then realized it was her underwear. Nothing like insomnia due to a wedgie.

Wednesday: You’ve reached a new low in parenting when you tell kids there aren’t anymore chocolate chip granola bars and then sneak into the bathroom to eat the last one.

Thursday: So here’s what just happened. I’m going to lay it all out there. I had a bowl of cheese doodles. I didn’t want my hands to get all greasy with crumbs. So I dipped my head into the bowl and bobbed for one. I got it and inhaled it completely into my mouth. Hands never left the keyboard. That’s how I roll people. That’s how I roll.

Friday: Apple needs to invent the iCrib – a built-in tv on a baby’s crib. At the sound of crying “Yo Gabba Gabba” pops up on the screen. It would blow the sales of the iPhone out of the water.

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Filed Under: Family, Funny Quotes of the Week, Kids TV, Life Observations, Toddlers Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Come visit me today on MAMALODE!

June 12, 2013 Leave a Comment

mamalode-82_600Such an exciting day today. I’m over at Mamalode!  If you don’t know about Mamalode, let me tell ya, it’s an awesome site with such great writing that I’m blown away on a daily basis.  I’m truly honored to have a post on their site and hope you’ll check it out.

They picked up my piece about the decision that changed my life forever. The decision that many face but to me felt impossible. What was it? Well you’ll just have to check out the post to find out!

To read, click HERE.

 

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I hate dinnertime. There, I said it.

June 11, 2013 13 Comments

When I was pregnant with my first child, I used to fantasize about family dinners. You know, those dinners like The Cosby Show where everyone goes around the table and says what the highs and lows of their days were. However, what The Cosby Show didn’t show was what those dinners were like when their kids were toddlers. I’m guessing that Clare had a flask in her lawyer briefcase that she would steal sips from, and Cliff would say there was a baby being born and secretly run off to the bar.

Dinner is officially my least favorite part of the day. I think I would suffer through Barbie and Ken getting married for the twelfth time this week than having to sit through a dinner where I tell my daughter to stop kicking the seat and my son to not spit food across the table again. Yes, I know they are only 4 and 22 months and I need to go through these times to teach them proper manners and such. But let me tell you, if I were rich, I would hire a nanny for 1 hour a day. All should she/he would have to do is sit at the dinner table with them. I would use that hour to finally put on deodorant, brush my hair and heck, maybe even solve the problems of world peace – a mom can get an insane amount of crap done in just one hour.

But tonight, I’ll try again. And maybe I can’t be Clare Huxtable, but heck, I figure if I get fed up enough, I’ll just start kicking their chairs and spitting food across the room back at them. If you can’t beat them, join them, right?

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Guest Post by Myndee from Random Myn: Life in a boy/girl home…

June 10, 2013 6 Comments

“Those are girl glasses.” said the little boy from the pool. My son, sporting his sister’s hot-pink and rhinestone sunglasses, shot back, “NO, they are BOYS!”

“But…they’re pink” the boy said, confused. “Yeah they’re pink, but I’m wearing them, so they’re boy glasses.” You go, Gavin.

This wasn’t an example of me letting my three-year old express himself by wearing the pink sunglasses. No, I’m not that progressive. It was more, I-can’t-find-your-sunglasses-just-wear-your-sister’s kind of thing. Pink sunglasses on boys and Captain America costumes on girls are common in the life of a boy/girl mom.

When you are a boy/girl mom, your life is filled with all things boy, all things girl, and everything in between. I often see things on Twitter, Instagram, or other social media sites where parents showcase a typical boy or girl moment, usually followed up with the hashtag “#boymom” or “#girlmom”. Those are some of my favorite posts!

I see very little, if anything though, on the unique experiences you have if you are living with both a young boy and young girl. Take a glimpse into our daily life:

You might be a boy/girl mom if….

-Your daughter requests a Skylander’s birthday party

-You find yourself playing hair salon and monster trucks at the same time

-At night you navigate through a mine field of Legos, My Little Ponies, hot-wheels, and princess crowns

-There are Star Wars sheets topped with flowered pillow’s on either of your children’s bed

-The beautiful tea party set is often used as a weapon

-You often have to remind your daughter that no, she does not have a tiny penis

-Your son has a favorite Disney Princess, and your daughter has a favorite Avenger

Your son dresses like this:

myndee 1 - compressed

And your daughter dresses like this:

myndee2 - compressed

Being a boy/girl mom forces you to be gender neutral, like it or not. Thankfully, around here we like it, or at least don’t care enough to not like it.

About The Guest Blogger: Myndee is an almost 30 (by that she means 33) year old mom who recently left her career to stay home with her three kids, ages 4 and under. She writes over at Random Myn about whatever random thing that crosses her mind- anything from politics to parenting. She’s also not a raging alcoholic, though her Instagram kind of makes her look like one. She’s also on Facebook & Twitter…

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Booze & Birthday Parties – What do you think?

June 8, 2013 Leave a Comment

The Sassy Housewife - compressedSo it’s Saturday and that means a new The Sassy Housewife is out!

I was asked by a reader about children’s birthday parties and serving booze to parents. Come read her dilemma and share what advice you would give her.

Agree or disagree? To read, click HERE

Speaking of alcohol, oh how I long for a Fairy Godmother to come to my bed on Saturday mornings and offer to turn my pillow into a mimosa or Bloody Mary….

 

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My son – The Beaver

June 6, 2013 16 Comments

When my daughter was teething, she started to bite the top rail of the crib. When we said, “NO!” in a strong voice, she was done. Never did it again.  And for the past few years, we smiled when we saw those few cute bite marks on the crib and remembered that one funny moment.

Now, those days are done. My 22 month old son uses that same crib and has taken his beaver impression to an entirely new level. Don’t believe me? Check out what has become of those few little bite marks.

crib - compressed

So I’m thinking that either he’s going to have horrible indigestion where he pukes brown paint chips or he ate so much wood that he’s literally going to poop out a Lincoln log.

I’ve decided that since my girl didn’t do this, that it must be a boy thing.  This has led me to a theory.

My theory is that penises are actually where idiotic decisions are stored. That’s why the part has to be bigger than the other parts of the body – because there are a plethora of idiotic decisions to be made by a man.

No, no, I’m not male-bashing. I’m simply offering a scientific explanation for why my son thought it was a genius idea to ingest half of his crib. Heck, maybe he really is hoping to poop out some Lincoln logs. In that case, he might be brilliant and my entire theory will have been debunked. Where are Myth Busters when you need them???

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Filed Under: Baby Life, Family, General Parenting, Toddlers Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

We all need to hear these words sometimes…

June 4, 2013 77 Comments

I went to the Children’s Museum this morning here in town and had an experience that I will probably never forget. My son and I were in the elevator (daughter is at camp – a wonderful invention – I would like to kiss deeply the person who thought of camp). Anyway, my son and I were getting into the elevator when a woman came in looking a bit frazzled. She had a big double stroller with a boy in the front seat around 7 years old, and then 3 other children around her, slightly older.

Looking very frustrated, I couldn’t help but hear her arguing with one of the children about something that happened that embarrassed them. I didn’t hear the story details so I’m not sure what they were referring to. However, at the moment the elevator stopped, the boy in the stroller started banging his head against the front of the stroller, then against the elevator hand rail. He was yelling that he wanted to go to the play area. Yelling loudly and banging over and over again. She struggled with getting him to stop and I helped her push the stroller out of the elevator so we all could exit.

I looked at the mother, then at him, then back at the mother. She had tears in her eyes. I realized when I looked at the son that he had down syndrome. I smiled at the mother and said, “There’s just rough days being a mother, isn’t there?”

Her reply is the reason I will never forget this story.

She replied with a shaking voice and tears coming down her face, “Every day is like this for me.”

I then decided to do what goes against every fabric of my New Yorker’s body. I walked right up to this woman I have never met before and I hugged her. And she cried in my arms. Then I said that words that I think every mother needs to hear, even me.

“You are a good mother.”

I repeated this about 10 times to her. I told her that we are all doing the best we can do in life. Then, I told her that she was definitely a better mother than I was because I hardly ever brought just 2 kids to the museum, let alone 4. She laughed and I told her that I hoped she had a good day. Though, I knew the chance of that was hard for her to imagine.

My heart has been hurting for that mother ever since I walked away from her.

My hats are off to all of you with children with extra needs. I hope you all know that you are good mothers. And it’s ok to cry. Even at the children’s museum.

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Inside the Blogger’s Studio: insignificant at best

June 2, 2013 3 Comments

insigatbestlogo - compressedWelcome insignificant at best - we’re happy to have you Inside the Blogger’s Studio! This series is a way to get to know other bloggers, while also getting a glimpse into the life of a fellow parent. Who doesn’t love feeling like they aren’t the only ones going crazy?

This is a really cool blog. It has posts, contests, giveaways, and blog hops. Plus, she writes short stories. Yeah, she might be superwoman.

With that said, let the questions begin!

If you had to sum up your blog in two sentences, what would you say?

A place where I go to escape the stresses of my day and share my super awesome opinions and thoughts. Plus I like to bribe my readers with free stuff, hoping it’ll keep them coming back!

What thing did you do today as a parent you wish you could take back and do over?

Ummm…nothing.  I’m the best Mom that ever was!  Unless you count when I wasn’t paying attention and elbowed my kid in the cheekbone.  She only looked slightly stunned and there were no tears, so I think whether it counts is up for debate.

What thing did you do today that you are happiest about?

Reheated leftovers.  I’m on vacation from my full-time job; they are lucky I fed them at all.  Heck I even used the oven and not the microwave.  *takes a bow*

What is your least favorite activity to do with your children?

Play pretend.  Every minute of playing Polly Pocket or Littlest Pet Shop is excruciatingly boring.  However, since I’m the best Mom that ever was, I grin and bear it.

What is your most favorite activity to do with your children?

I love to go for walks with my daughter.  It’s fun to explore with her because she notices things that I’d never pay attention to.

When your child drives you absolutely crazy and you want to scream a curse word, which word do you wish you could say?

Will you shut the f@ck up?!?  That’s more than one word, but in my defense it’s only one curse word.

What’s your favorite lie you have ever told your child?

I have Santa’s phone number and will call him directly if you don’t start behaving properly.  I’ve even gone so far as to start dialing.  Works like a charm.

At what moment did you realize that you really were grown up?

I’m still waiting for that moment.  I remember when my pregnancy test was positive; my first thought was “Oh crap, I’m going to be in so much trouble!”.  I had to remind myself that I was 27 years old and had been married for 4 years.  LOL  I don’t feel like I’m 33 years old, so I don’t think of myself that way.  I also pride myself on the fact that I have an incredibly dirty and sarcastic sense of humor.  I’m that girl at work who is giggling to herself because someone just said “It was bigger than I thought”.  My mind immediately says “That’s what she said”; that joke does NOT get old.  Lord help me if I ever lose my sense of humor, because I truly feel it’s what keeps me young.

Blog Web Address: http://www.insignificantatbest.com

Facebook Address: http://www.facebook.com/insignificantatbestblog

Twitter Address: http://www.twitter.com/insignifblog

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Private vs. Public – The Great Debate

June 1, 2013 Leave a Comment

The Sassy Housewife - compressedI’m really excited about this week’s installment of The Sassy Housewife because a DAD wrote in a question. He’s feeling guilty about not being able to afford a private school education for his daughter and doesn’t know what to do about the situation. Come read my advice and share what you would do in that situation.

Agree or disagree with what I told him? To read, click HERE.

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Scaring the Soon-To-Be Parents – In Just One Weekend…

May 28, 2013 12 Comments

We had some close friends from DC come to visit us this weekend and two of them are a married couple expecting their first child. It was wonderful to talk to them about their excitement and chat about the world of parenting. However, no baby class or book could prepare them for a weekend with my 4 year-old daughter. We had to keep reassuring them that their baby wouldn’t come out of the womb asking the questions that my daughter asked. Questions asked as if she were interrogating them with a bright light shining in their faces.

- Who is your favorite princess?

- Why do you have 2 bracelets and not just 1?

- Why do you wear your hair back and not down?

- Where does your brother live?

- Do you have any pets?

- Would you like to wear a dress up dress? (Said to the husband, not wife)

However, the question that always leaves folks looking like a deer in headlights is –  ”Do you want to play Barbies with me?”

They all look around to the left then right, as if to try to find someone to throw a raft to them for rescue. Each time, I would jump in and come up with a reason they couldn’t play. Finally, I had to fess up and say, “Sweetie, not everyone enjoys playing Barbies every waking minute of the day.”

You would have thought I told her that Clifford really isn’t a pretend big red dog. She was bewildered, confused, and walked away with a look that said, “That crazy woman has no idea what she is talking about…”

I’m guessing that my friends are a bit scared to have a daughter now after this weekend. However, I have to admit, I totally plan on sending them a Barbie as their first baby present. So wrong, but yet… so right.

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Adventures in Babysitting

May 23, 2013 9 Comments

I’m not pregnant. However, the 4 year-old I had over for a play date this morning thinks otherwise. His quote to me –  ”Looks like you’ve got a baby growing in your belly – it’s kinda big”.

Suck it, kid. If it’s a baby then her name is Little Debbie.

However, the fun didn’t end there.

My favorite quote came while changing my son’s diaper. The little boy then said, “I changed my stuffed animal’s diaper one time. Hey, want to see my butt cheek?”

The tea immediately came spitting out of my mouth at that one. However, I didn’t have time to answer before he literally pulled down his pants and proceeded to show me his butt cheek. That, in itself, was odd, but the crazier thing was that there was nothing spectacular to see on his butt. No moles, beauty marks, leftover marker from a crazy night with the boys. He simply wanted to show me his actual butt cheek.

The play date ended with him telling my 4 year-old daughter this, “I’m not going to marry you but you can still come over to my house sometime.” I’m not sure if she actually expressed an interest in marrying him without my  knowledge but I like a guy that is honest from the beginning. I appreciate it, kid. You’re welcome back anytime. Just keep your eyes away from my stomach next time, ok?

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Filed Under: Family, Funny Quotes of the Week, Life Observations, The Things Kids Say Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Puking, Pizza & Precipitation – That’s Why We Aren’t Supposed To Exercise…

May 22, 2013 Leave a Comment

tri - compressedMy husband’s triathlon was rained out. I think it was God mad that they did so much exercise over the past 3 months. I’ve noticed that it doesn’t rain when I sit my butt on the couch and eat cheetos while drinking beer. God obviously likes that kind of stuff.

But the story from the triathlon was so much more than just rain. SO much more.  Come read my latest Momaha post about how puking, pizza & precipitation all played a role in a weekend we’ll never forget.

To read, click HERE

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Teachers – Would I be able to be as courageous as them?

May 21, 2013 7 Comments

I don’t know about you, but a tragedy takes on a whole new meaning when it involves children. I’m not sure I felt it to the magnitude I do now that I’m a mother.  I was a teacher many moons ago and I often wonder if I would have had the courage that the teachers in Oklahoma City and other schools that have faced disaster have shown.  These teachers are mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, friends – they all had loved ones that count on them and look to them for support in their lives.  Yet, they put their students’ lives before their own. That is truly amazing to me.

I hope that there never comes a day where I have to be put to the test like that. There is no one to blame for acts like this tornado, but there is everyone to praise for the heroes that come out to help.

If you are looking to help, consider making a donation to the Red Cross. They are delivering hot meals throughout the affected areas. The Red Cross is also working to link loved ones in Moore who are OK through a website called Safe and Well. Text REDCROSS to 90999 to give $10 to American Red Cross Disaster Relief, donate online, or donate by phone at 1-800-RED CROSS.

Just think about your favorite teacher today and I’m guessing she or he would have done the same thing for you as those amazing teachers and workers did in Moore. I simply want to say thank you.

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